…and it feels so good to be back up here and hold Cutler.  Even better was being able to play with him for about two hours.  He was asleep when I first got here and so I held him for about 30 minutes and then all of a sudden he sat up and was ready to play.  At first I thought he just wanted to sit up, but he kept looking across the room at his new musical play bench with mirror and so we went over and he just started smiling and playing away.  He also enjoyed watching videos and pictures of Mason.

He still isn’t taking bottles, but that’s alright as it will give him less to cause vomiting.  Another day of chemo to go and then hopefully Wednesday will be a good solid day of rest for him before the transplant on Thursday.  Unfortunately I have no pictures or videos of tonight as Cutler would stop playing and just stare at the camera every time I tried to get something good.  Perhaps tomorrow.

Mason has now started to appreciate the Wii.  Fortunately he likes to play the games that at least require a little physical exertion.  The one his playing in this video is a bike race.  Doesn’t matter where he finishes, he is always a winner in his mind and my heart.

The chemo is definitely taking its impact on Cutler now.  He is no longer interested in bottles and is wanting to do nothing but be held.  Last night he had to be put on oxygen as his pulsox dropped into the 80’s, but as of this morning he was back to normal and so the oxygen was removed.  Prior to Melanie leaving, Cutler did have a fever of 102, but the doctor is undecided if it is a side effect from his anti rejection medicine or if it is an actual virus so he is going to have the antibiotics started to be safe just in case it isn’t the side effect.  Fortunately I get to spend the night with him and will be up there around 4pm and am very excited to hold and comfort him all that I can.  Will hope to get something new posted this evening after I spend a bit of time with him.

After going back and forth on showing the impacts of the chemo, it looks like it is finally settling in.  Yesterday Cutler began the vomiting and has shown very little interest to drinking from a bottle.  Despite this, Cutler is still showing some desire to play, but is spending the majority of his time being held and loving every bit of it.  Unfortunately I am still barred from the hospital, but am feeling much better and my 72 hours is up tomorrow.  I can’t wait to get up there tomorrow and just hold him close.  Fortunately Dr. Goldman was there to give him some play time with a man and the goatee…Cutler loves to reach up and feel the hair on my chin.

Hopefully Grandma will be bring back some good pictures and a positive update from today and I will have a post out later tonight.

So it would appear that the chemo is impacting Cutler as much as we thought.  Perhaps it was just his four to five teeth coming in, but today was a much better day for him.  Unfortunately I didn’t have the joy of spending time with him as I was just put on antibiotics today and am waiting for whomever is at the hospital tomorrow when the doctor gets in to discuss when I can return based on my medicine.  However, reports back from the front are that Cutler was quite playful and still has a bit of an appetite.  He did receive an early Christmas present from Grandma and Papa which is helping satisfy two of his favorite activities…music and admiring his beauty.  Below are some pictures taken by Melanie.

I hope that this finds everyone doing well and fully fed and ready bed after a long Thanksgiving day.  Ours was about what you would expect with having Cutler in the hospital.  Thanks to Fellowship Church for providing the turkey and sides.  Unfortunately I fell sick yesterday with a cold and so yesterday was the last time I have gotten to see Cutler.  So instead today I helped the neighbors fry some turkeys and Mason and I went for a bike ride and then after a late turkey lunch we fell asleep on the floor watching Land Before Time.  Yes, I could not even watch football today so this did not feel like Thanksgiving at all to me.  🙂

As for Cutler, it is looking like the chemo is starting to make its impact on him.  This morning he was his usual playful self, but as the day progressed he lost interest in playing and eating and became increasingly fussy.  His naps have even become less in time and frequency.  This round of chemo is much stronger than either of the two he has experienced to date, so it is no surprise that he is beginning to feel it.  The picture from above is from yesterday morning.  I am currently overdoing it on vitamin C and cold medicine so that I can hopefully get back to the hospital and spend some time with my baby boy as well as do my part up there to help give Melanie and the grandmas some much needed rest.

On this day of thanks I would like to thank everyone for their continued support.  I thank God every day for providing such an incredible support group from our family to our friends and to those that only know us via the blog.  Without knowing we have such a strong network of prayer and people willing to do anything asked is what helps give us strength.  An extra special thanks to all of our family that has been staying with us and helping out in the hospital as well as the family that is here locally with us and always willing to pitch in and help out.  I also am extremely thankful for having such an incredible wife and a four-year old that is being patient and strong beyond his years and most importantly for giving us a baby with the heart, courage, and fight of a lion.

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!

Yesterday was a day of rest, meaning no meds and so Cutler slept through the night with no issues for Melanie.  Fortunately they have put a bed in the room for us, so Melanie was able to get some decent sleep as well.  This morning they started chemo and as expected Cutler is showing no ill effects yet.  That shouldn’t start for another few days. 

What he is showing instead is an over energetic engine.  Maybe it is because we are cooped up in a small room, but he seems much more energetic and harder to wrangle than Mason ever was.  It’s a constant wrestling match with him to keep him out of everything he shouldn’t be getting into and changing a diaper is an amazing exercise of battle of wills.  Fortunately I am currently winning, but I am sure he will surpass me before you know it.

But don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining.  While it can get frustrating, it is hard to get mad at such a great smile and it is actually refreshing to see how much of a fight he has in him to help him beat this.

Checking in today was a bit more disappointing than I was expecting.  First of all, they did not give us a room that has a window so that Mason could look in on him on occasion as was originally discussed.  Then we discovered that there was no rocking chair!  That’s right, no rocking chair in a room for an eight month old.  I am sure it will be rectified tomorrow, but not a good way to start.  Especially with an overtired baby.

As you can see from the above video, Cutler was in a great mood the majority of the day.  Now that I think about it, he was a lot more active and talkative today than I had ever seen.  Unfortunately he was a lot more tired that I had ever seen and while I waited for relief this evening I discovered how difficult it really is to soothe a baby without being able to really sit down and rock them.  I just talked to Melanie and she was having the same troubles, but after an hour of nerve-racking crying he finally fell asleep in Melanie’s arms and is now sound asleep in bed.  The nurse for tonight has taken on the rocking chair as her mission for the evening.  We will see how it goes.  Until then I will just keep watching this video over and over each time I start to feel a bit down.

Below are a few pictures from throughout the day, including Aunt Pat’s last morning with the boys before heading to the airport.  Thank you Aunt Pat for spending so much time with us and we will see you soon.

And here are a few from the hospital…

Tonight is the eve before our life gets turned upside down one more time.  Although we have been through a lot and have a good idea of what to expect, the anticipation of what we are about to embark on is weighing very heavily on me.  Just the idea of taking such a healthy and happy baby boy as we have right now and bringing him back down to level zero all over again is causing great angst.  However, realizing this is the final step in our soon to be victory over leukemia, I know it is the right decision.  I am finding a tremendous amount of comfort in prayer and knowing that everyone else is out there praying for us as well.  We check back into the hospital tomorrow at 1pm and then chemo will start on Tuesday morning.  I will start updating the blog on a more frequent basis now that we are returning from “vacation”. 

As a side note, I have changed the layout again and found a way to allow you to subscriber so that you get an email whenever I post a new update.  Look on the right hand side.  It should be fairly simple to do.

Thank you again for all of the prayers that are helping comfort us during our up and down times.  It really is amazing to know how many people out there are thinking about and praying for Cutler on a daily basis.